What Is A Sociopath?

Profile of the Sociopath
This website summarizes some of the common features of descriptions of the behavior of sociopaths.

Glibness and Superficial Charm
Manipulative and Conning They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They may dominate and humiliate their victims.

Grandiose Sense of Self Feels entitled to certain things as "their right."
Pathological Lying Has no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for them to be truthful on a consistent basis. Can create, and get caught up in, a complex belief about their own powers and abilities. Extremely convincing and even able to pass lie detector tests.

Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt A deep seated rage, which is split off and repressed, is at their core. Does not see others around them as people, but only as targets and opportunities. Instead of friends, they have victims and accomplices who end up as victims. The end always justifies the means and they let nothing stand in their way.

Shallow Emotions When they show what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion it is more feigned than experienced and serves an ulterior motive. Outraged by insignificant matters, yet remaining unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since they are not genuine, neither are their promises.

Incapacity for Love

Need for Stimulation Living on the edge. Verbal outbursts and physical punishments are normal. Promiscuity and gambling are common.

Callousness/Lack of Empathy Unable to empathize with the pain of their victims, having only contempt for others' feelings of distress and readily taking advantage of them.

Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature Rage and abuse, alternating with small expressions of love and approval produce an addictive cycle for abuser and abused, as well as creating hopelessness in the victim. Believe they are all-powerful, all-knowing, entitled to every wish, no sense of personal boundaries, no concern for their impact on others.

Early Behavior Problems/Juvenile Delinquency Usually has a history of behavioral and academic difficulties, yet "gets by" by conning others. Problems in making and keeping friends; aberrant behaviors such as cruelty to people or animals, stealing, etc.

Irresponsibility/Unreliability Not concerned about wrecking others' lives and dreams. Oblivious or indifferent to the devastation they cause. Does not accept blame themselves, but blames others, even for acts they obviously committed.

Promiscuous Sexual Behavior/Infidelity Promiscuity, child sexual abuse, rape and sexual acting out of all sorts.

Lack of Realistic Life Plan/Parasitic Lifestyle Tends to move around a lot or makes all encompassing promises for the future, poor work ethic but exploits others effectively.

Criminal or Entrepreneurial Versatility Changes their image as needed to avoid prosecution. Changes life story readily.

Other Related Qualities:
Contemptuous of those who seek to understand them
Does not perceive that anything is wrong with them
Authoritarian
Secretive
Paranoid
Only rarely in difficulty with the law, but seeks out situations where their tyrannical behavior will be tolerated, condoned, or admired
Conventional appearance
Goal of enslavement of their victim(s)
Exercises despotic control over every aspect of the victim's life
Has an emotional need to justify their crimes and therefore needs their victim's affirmation (respect, gratitude and love)
Ultimate goal is the creation of a willing victim
Incapable of real human attachment to another
Unable to feel remorse or guilt
Extreme narcissism and grandiose
May state readily that their goal is to rule the world (The above traits are based on the psychopathy checklists of H. Cleckley and R. Hare.)

NOTE: In the 1830's this disorder was called "moral insanity." By 1900 it was changed to "psychopathic personality." More recently it has been termed "antisocial personality disorder" in the DSM-III and DSM-IV. Some critics have complained that, in the attempt to rely only on 'objective' criteria, the DSM has broadened the concept to include too many individuals. The APD category includes people who commit illegal, immoral or self-serving acts for a variety of reasons and are not necessarily psychopaths.

I haven't heard from him

I still have not heard from my ex. It's seriously hurting.

Closure Is So Overrated

I'm so sad, and so disappointed in myself. I've been thinking of "him" all week since we talked on msn messenger. The last time I heard from him was on Monday when he emailed me that he had wired the 2K. I've been checking my email and msn messenger to see if he would appear but no luck. I don't know what to think anymore. I am deep in sadness and despair. It's like I'm reliving emotions from three years ago that I had so carefully stored away. I thought I had moved on. I'm out of control and I find my behavior sickening, especially because he now has so much power over me and I have lost all rationality. It's disgusting.

I thought I had closure but last Saturday's stupid conversation sent it out the door and opened many old wounds. I wonder is he feeling the same way? Is he having the same emotional breakdown as I am? Did he by giving me the 2K reach his closure and now he doesn't want to talk to me ever again (I'm scared that is the case)? When will I hear from him again? Does he miss me? Am I on his mind? Did our conversation open old wounds for him too? Argh this i so frustrating, especially when I thought I had moved on!!!

Last Saturday, he told me we were soulmates and you don't tell someone "you and I both know we are soulmates" and then not talk to them again!?!? Why did he say that? Did he mean it? Is he just messig with me? I have so many questions that are unanswered. His parting words were "we will talk again, right? You won't disappear?" and I answered "Yes, we will talk". I keep checking my email and msn and he is not there.

The relationship I am in is currently going to crap. I had planned to move with him to San Francisco where he found a good job but now I don't know anymore. I'm doubting everything and we keep arguing about stupid things. Everything phone call turns into an argument, I don't know how long that will go on. He doesn't trust me for having emailed my ex and I don't trust him for breaking into my email. Some people tell me to leave him because he violated my email but other tell me to stay and work it out. I don't know. All I know is that we don't trust each other and there is no way that I will be moving to San Francisco if he is not feeling 100% about me. I may be out of control but I am not stupid. My boyfriend says he loves me and that he wants to marry me but that he can not trust me for talking to my ex. Some people tell me and I think they are correct, that he won't stop breaking into my email. Especially when he justified it. He said he did it because he knew I was acting weird and even though it's wrong under the circumstances he had a right. Does that seem right to you? To me it sounds like excuses. His latest thing is that last night while we were talking on the phone he was asking me to go visit him in San Francisco and I mentioned that I had to see about prices for the airfare and he said "oh, yeah I forgot that money was important to you". So he threw the 2K in my face, great.

I keep crying all the time. I'm an emotional wreck. I need to get with it. What can I do?